Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
