Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
