id be glad to
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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