Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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