I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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