so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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