I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
