would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this boner is exhausting
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
