Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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