quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
