Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
