I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
