She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
