Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
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