when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
