I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
