Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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