awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
