he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
