Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
