I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
