I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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