apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
