I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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