I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
