Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
