thus making me awesome and them whores
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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