i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
