I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
