I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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