So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
