im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
