I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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