I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
We are all done wearing pants today
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Congratulations! We have a period
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