this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
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