Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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