So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
