so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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