just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize