Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
