I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
