Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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