im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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