That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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