At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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