and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
