I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
