i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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