New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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