my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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