I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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